Fucking Winter Market.
1) Fucking Crowds. “LETS ALL GO TO THE CHRISTMAS MARKET!”
2) Fucking Queues. “LETS ALL GO TO THE BEER TENT!”
3) Fucking over priced shit. “£60 for a wooden Austrian something or other”
4) Fucking over priced useless shit. “What the fuck am I going to do with this hand painted out door Austrian wind-chime?”
5) Fucking obscure meats. “ahh brilliant, a penguin burger”. Which is probably beef or chicken, don’t even try and pretend you know what Crocodile or Zebra or any of those odd things taste tastes like.
6) Fucking morons. For 11 months and 14 days the sort of people who drink nothing but Harp will drink themselves stupid on Strawberry German Wheat Beer at £5 a pint, ignorant of the fact that foreign drinks are available all year round.
7) Fucking port-a-loos. While a normal person is in a pub with things like toilets and heating or even smarter people are at home complaining on the internet, the idiots are pushing through the crowds so they can stand in a big queue for the filthy chemical toilets. Except the drunk men, they can, and will, piss anywhere, behind the market stalls, on the statues, beside the beer tent. Nothing says festive like a river of piss.
8) Fucking drunk spides. “hear, yooo! Been in the beer tent all day, mon roun’ ta Benny dicks”
9) Fucking drunk spides stumbling about spilling their obscure meats. See point 1.
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